I'm Still Here
by fauxPROJECT
Summary: Shikamaru is reminded of a certain blonde kunoichi on this day. He recalls a few memories and stolen moments with Ino, and comes to terms and ends his emotions in this OneShot. Shikacentric. InoxShika. Review! You'll enjoy it.


**Title: **I'm Still Here

**Author: **eclectic electric

**Summary:** Shikamaru is reminded of a certain blonde kunoichi on this day. He recalls a few memories and stolen moments with Ino, and comes to terms and ends his emotions in this One-Shot. Shika-centric. InoxShika. R&R.

**Author's Note:** Second fanfiction. :O, I've been planning to maybe do a collection of InoShika, fluff-centric. But listening to a good playlist, my mind created this. x3. I used both of his catch phrases (Troublesome, and What A Drag) because, both seemed fitting in the story. So don't review commenting on it. I know.

Please visit my page too to catch a glimpse at my upcoming works and drop me a PM if you have any ideas.

**Be Warned,** you may be..a tad bit moved at the end. Look at the genre! X), but I don't want to ruin the surprised! Squee! AND, slight SPOILER as well. Don't cry to me cause I revealed something that happens in Naruto: Shippuden.

_Italics are flashbacks,_ and sometimes an emphasis.

Reviews are welcome! So are flames unless you're bashing on the couple selection. Enough with this long ass note, read!

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

It's troublesome to cloud watch on a day like _this._

I had to shield my dark eyes with my hand to even catch a glimpse of the sky. It was really annoying. Today was just so sunny and bright. There were really only a few clouds in the sky, not a very good day to cloud watch...

_What. A. Drag._

I guess it isn't surprising though, that today's sky is like this. It's predictable and the last weeks weather patterns could mean that yesterday or today was going to be like this. _But why today?_ Why was today's sky so blue? Even with the weather in Konoha being nice, I always had a good handful of clouds to admire.

I gingerly raised a hand to scratch my scalp in front of the tie that held up my hair and furrowed my brow a bit as well. I can't help it,

I should look, but it's too troublesome.

Blue is such a drag on a day like today.

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

_"Shikamaru?"_

_I never bothered to answer her, although her casual tone did surprise me. I mean, she never spoke to me like this, the only time she addressed me was when she was angry._

_Okay, I thought too soon._

_"SHI," She nudged me, "KA," even harder, "MA," damn it hurt too, "RU." my shoulder is probably displaced by now._

_"What, Ino?" I only opened one eye, slightly leaning towards her, a lopsided, disapproving frown spread obviously across my face. I halted myself for a moment though, noting how her face wasn't even looking at mine. I could only raise an eyebrow at the sight of her gazing at the sky._

_My surprise ended soon, it was a charade, and I could see it by the way her left foot was fidgeting. I sighed and closed my eyes once more. I was about to comment on how troublesome she was so whatever she wanted from me would quickly disappear in the heat of her anger, but, the blonde beat me to my plan of action._

_"Do you mind coming to pick some wildflowers with me for an arrangement for the shop?" She asked._

_Whoa, wait a minute. I knew nothing of flowers, why ask me? So troublesome..I bet she wants something else._

_"No way." I added after a short pause. I didn't flinch a bit when I heard her huff in anger._

_"Why not?! I always,"_

_"Once in a blue moon." I corrected, and let her carry on,_

_"Come out here and try to understand and bond as a teammate, as Asuma-sensai has suggested."_

_But that was the thing, why did she have to be forced to spend time with me?_

_"Yeah, whatever." It just rolled off my tongue so easy. I crossed my legs the other way so my left leg wouldn't fall asleep and tucked my hands under my head. I relaxed even further to prove my point._

_"You know it's true. You never make an effort. I don't even know why I try, it's useless. I didn't even want to be on the same team as you!" Ino spat at me. My eyebrow twitched slightly at this._

_"Now forehead has Sasuke all to herself! I'm stuck with...with.." Was that a quiver?_

_I sat up abruptly, hands planted at my sides and looked at her with utmost interest. I don't know why this sudden burst of energy ran through my body, it just did._

_But now I realized I should have let that urge go and just let her storm off and whine, pout. So on.._

_Ino was on her knees, a hand on her lap the other half covering the frown on her lips,_

_and those blue eyes staring at me. _

_They were so blue..._

_It faded quick and she got up,_

_"Whatever, see you at training." She huffed at me, irritation heavily laced on her voice. But I didn't care at all. I just stared where her eyes had met me. _

_After a moment I looked up again._

_"Ino's eyes look just like the sky behind the clouds.." I mumbled lazily to myself, my eyes barely peering behind my hooded eyes as at the moment I was just relieved to have her leave me alone finally. _

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

Moments like those I wish I could take back and redo.

Ino was troublesome like that. She was the only one that made me second guess my actions in moments like those. I could never really read her either. Okay, so maybe I could 90 percent of the time, but the 10 percent that I couldn't, seemed to occur..

allot.

I opened my eyes slightly, but it's so annoying. All I can think of is Ino right now, and I'm not afraid to admit it. It's getting hot too, better take of my green jacket. I'm kind of stiff from laying down, I noticed, as I brought myself to sit up for a moment, shrugging of the heavy piece of clothing, leaving me in my cropped pants and mesh shirt.

I brought my knees up closer to my chest and rested my elbows on them and dug my face into my hands.

Right about now, I feel so inadequate. Like a failure. I felt a chill run down my back. It almost felt like the time when we went to retrieve Sasuke..

Everyone got so hurt, because of me.

I had to grunt to myself to bring myself back to reality. That's one memory I didn't want to bring back. Although it's the past, it's troublesome to deal with such pain once you've grown from it.

Ino felt like that allot. I know this. No one really knows, because she likes to trouble herself with all of that confidence that she naturally has.

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

_"I don't know where she is." I responded to Asuma-sensai as we came very close to finishing our game of shougi. I never understood why Asuma got so frustrated with this game whenever he played me. It was just a troublesome game of shougi, and it wasn't that difficult if you just glanced and thought about it for two seconds..._

_"You should go find her, well you know, it's not natural of her to miss training without an excuse." Asuma commented._

_"She probably was caught up in shopping..troublesome.." I remarked, knowing that Asuma couldn't deny that, that has happened a couple times._

_"I don't think that's it." His deep voice countered, scratched the hair on his chin, "Even when she is training, her mind seems to off somewhere else.."_

_"Sasuke." Where else where that girls mind be? All she could fume lately that Sakura ("billboard brow, or forehead in Ino's terms) was spending her days with Sasuke, and Ino would not loose to Sakura. You know, troublesome, unimportant things that Ino always troubled herself with._

_"Hmm, I disagree."_

_I finally took my attention away from our game and squinted at him like he was crazy. Ino was Ino. I didn't notice any change. Except for the bandages on her hands now, that kind of resembled Lee. Probably another 'fashion fad' or something. That was Ino after all._

_Asuma gave a deep chested chuckle at me while his cigarette was hanging limp from his lips. His eyes took on a more authoritive stance._

_"Go find her. That's your training right now." My frown widened in annoyance. I opened my mouth to speak and he just merely pointed for me to go. I did, oh so casually._

_After all, he was loosing badly, and I knew that this was an excuse for him to get out with officially loosing to me..._

_as always._

_This really was a drag, and even possibly be considered training. I couldn't find Ino anywhere. I checked her favorite places, and people, and no one has seen her blonde head anywhere for awhile now. Unusual since Ino was a social..monster. _

_"Ino..you've made this day such a drag.." I breathed to myself. Might as well cloud watch, Ino would pop up somewhere. I maneuvered my way into the forest, jumping to find a good spot. It was a decent day, and it did deserve a good place to watch, stare, and nap at. I almost had my spot when I heard a small shriek. It wasn't anything alarming, like someone had stubbed their toe..badly._

_I quietly made my way towards the sound, and the sight made me stop in my tracks. I raised a dark eyebrow as I watched the blonde fall to her knees, tears down her dirtied cheeks. Blood was covering her hands and obviously from punching the trees and other debris that was flung about. I shifted my eyes slightly away from her, this was..just..I didn't know how to explain it._

_"I won't make it.." Her voice was sad, and low. Like she was repeating a mantra. "I won't catch up.." Her bloodied hands flew to her face. "I can see everyone..but there just to far away.."_

_I just stood there like a fool. I couldn't find the words, or actions. My throat burned with the thought of speaking up. Ino was always the one letting me know that I was of value, that I was important. I was someone and something. My mind froze, because well,_

_I didn't know exactly of the time what I thought of her. It's too troublesome to lie. Even if she was over there repeating everyone's name with a sad defeat..then she whispered mine differently,_

_like a call for help. I'm nothing but a shadow to her right then, I couldn't help her.._

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

"If only you knew Ino, how much of a someone you where.." I breathed to myself, finding the corners of my eyes burning to strain back tears as I lost myself in the memory. Ino slowly became herself again over time after that incident. How I wished I would have walked up to her and held her hands and soothed her pulsing knuckles and told her it was alright.

"Ino.."

The blonde was always independent, I knew that. Back then, (and now a little bit), I'm glad, because it was less troublesome for me. Although she did have her moments when she loved to bother me for help. Ino-Shika-Cho's teamwork was all well, don't get me wrong. But on a personal level, sometimes me and Ino just didn't click right away. Sure, we rooted each other on, but what did I know about her?

I knew her as the screeching blonde banshee, boy crazy and conceited in a way, if you really wanted to be negative. A couple of handy jutsu as well.

For awhile, I just never knew her.

For the longest time it took me to have my own epiphany about her.

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

_I found her sitting idly by the small river, flicking stones into the watery depths. _

_I laced my hands behind my head as I looked at her for a moment, studying her mood and movements for a minute. She was in casual clothes, orange shirt, grey cropped pants..nothing special. Which was surprising._

_"Shikamaru!" She smiled at me, obviously in a good mood. I raised a hand slightly to acknowledge her, not much expression or emotion in me at the moment. Until she motioned me over did my stomach suddenly churn a bit. I slowly drug my feet over the rocky landscape to sit a comfortable distance from her to still maintain a friendly and close ambience._

_"What are you thinking about?" _

_My eyebrows raised instantly at this as I peered at her from the corner of my eyes._

_"Nothing." I responded, not really knowing how to answer the question since it was even unexpected for me. I spread my legs and bent my knees so I could lazily relax my elbows on them and slouch a bit as well._

_"You really shouldn't do that, your posture is -"_

_"What are you thinking about?" I cut her off, curiosity biting my ass for once. My eyes drifted to the sky as she looked to the water._

_"Everything." She replied, a simple answer. I sighed, scratched the back of my head for a moment. How troublesome. Ino was never simple._

_"Life I guess. Myself." Ino added on, her blue eyes looking at me with a look that I'd call content almost. I wanted to smile almost, but I guess I looked freaked out or uninterested by her reaction. Her brow furrowed at slight annoyance at me._

_"I'm guessing you're too lazy to think about yourself, right? Troublesome." She mocked slightly. I couldn't respond really. I shoved my chin into my hands still looking at her. The thing was..I had no idea what she was talking about._

_"You've never thought about, who you are?"_

_"I know who I am, troublesome girl. Nara Shikamaru."_

_"No, no, not like that." She bit her lip, tucking her hands into her lap. "Who you are, Shikamaru. What kind of person I am, why am I here. What can I do..What can I be, I suppose." Ino muttered, scratching the side of her jaw. "I want to know. Am I just Ino Yamanaka? Just apart of Team Ten. Is that me? Is that what makes me, who I am?"_

_I could add on, but she'd probably drown me into the river.._

_"You know, Shikamaru. You should get some ambition, some motivation." She said smugly, but not to completely hurt me in any way._

_"Why should I? I'm doing fine just the way I am. I'm happy. Geez." I replied, my lips in a signature, and comfortable frown as I shook my head at her. I stopped for a moment, catching her looking up at the sky, her hands prompting her upper body up behind her._

_"Not me, Shikamaru." She said, closing her big blue eyes, letting the breeze take her in the moment. I lost my breath for a second, mouth hanging open slightly and I fixed my eyes on her. _

_"I'm...I'm going to make the great escape!" She announced with a smile she turned towards me and shoved her face proudly in my view, making sure I only saw her. I gulped down as she continued. "I'll figure this out. In this place or not, they don't know me anyways. Not before I know." She gave me a toothy grin that was typical of her._

_Ino stood up and stretched and I was just dumbly still sitting on the rocky edge gazing up at her._

_"I'll feel so alive."_

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

I looked at her differently ever since then.

I _understood_ her.

I fell in _love_ with her before I knew it.

All we had were our secret moments, because, I never told her.

I roughly rubbed my brow and let out a sigh. Today was really getting to my head, if you haven't noticed. My head ached, my body was stiff, my heart strained, even the tie on my black hair seemed to be bothering me.

I crawled to my feet and wiped myself free of any dirt for a moment and reached into my pants pocket grabbing the pack of cigarettes. I bit my lip, **hard.**

She still haunted me indirectly. I couldn't even smoke in Asuma's memory, without of thinking of her and her nagging to quit that. I didn't like it, so why bring on sickness when I could willingly stop. I tossed the pack behind me and closed my eyes with a sigh. I opened my eyes half way and peered to my left and watched the small batch of wildflowers sway with the wind.

So troublesome.

Everything that I see reminds me of her. Everything reminds me of what I should have done.

Everything reminds of to whom I've lost Ino to.

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

_My heart was beating so fast that I thought it'd jump out of my chest. My mouth was so unbearably dry._

_'I have to get her, I have to get to her, I have to get to her..' The thought was pounding in my mind. The only thing my eyes were fixated on was a limp, bloodied body. Face down in the dirt, arms and legs twisted uncomfortably with each other, hitai-ate flung carelessly away from blonde hair._

_The fight with the person blocking my path was a technicolor blur. The only thing I could comprehend was Ino behind him, and I had to get to her. I just remember getting struck with a couple senbon, and not even bothering to complain on how annoying senbon were._

_I stumbled quickly over to her, grasping at her body, and cradled her into my arms and on my lap somewhat._

_"Ino.." I growled out of frustration, my clammy hands flew to her neck begging to feel a pulse._

_My heart fluttered awkwardly as I could faintly feel it. _

_I drew her in closely, trying to put pressure on the bleeding wounds that seem to be every on her. I suddenly realized I was trembling as my hands seeped of her blood._

_"Don't die on me, Ino. You're strong, Ino, You're strong." I encouraged hoarsely, nudging her within my arms. Suddenly I remembered all those times she cheered me on..chuunin exams..missions..helped me through Asuma's death. "What would I do without you?" My throat burned with all of these words escaping my lips._

_"Finally quit smoking." Tears bursted from me when I heard her voice. It wasn't the Ino's voice I knew. That one that would scream and holler, the strong and truthful one, the one that was full of __**life.**__ Her lips curved into a small smile, blood trickling from her lips. I held tighter, placing my forehead on my teammates'..my Ino's._

_"What about that great escape?" I whispered to her, my eyes searching her dimmed cerulean ones that where half lidded._

_"I've never felt more alive than I do now." My heart pained at my confusion. The blonde was dying in my arms, how could she possibly feel alive?_

_"You'll be alright, Ino. We're getting medics here, Ino." I kept repeating her name, as I raised a hand to wipe some dirt off of her cheek, I wanted to wipe away her pain. My pain._

_"Shikamaru."_

_"Ino..."_

_"It's alright."_

_Her voice was so quite, I could barely hear her._

_"It's not, Ino, don't go." I breathed to her._

_"I won't if you really don't want me to." A broken smile formed on her lips as she shakily rose a bloodied hand to my chest. She nodded softly at me, like she had just suddenly gained all the wisdom in the world at this sudden moment. Ino's hand then slowly went to my lips, a red thumb brushing over my lips. I could have died myself right then and there._

_"Just remember something, Shikamaru."_

_"Anything." I swooned at her._

_"I'm still here."_

_I gave her a small kiss,_

_stealing her last breath._

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

"They wanted to me to go to your funeral, you know that right?" I grinned lazily and knowingly at the blue sky. "If I had it my way there wouldn't be one, Ino." I plucked a flower from the soil idly.

"Why would you have one for someone whose still here?"

**DOTDOTDOTDOTDOTDOT**

Sad? Moving? Lame:3

Review and tell, so I atleast know that someone has actually read this.

Don't forget to check out my upcoming works and leave me some ideas/suggestions!

Loveeeee :3,

- eclectic.


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